elevator pet peeves
Bitchin time:I have huge issues sometimes with elevator idiots. Overtime I have developed some huge pet peeves. And tonights top ten list is...
Getting in the elevator and it still smells like some old man nasty ass cologne like Brut or something from when the last middle aged man got off. I mean come on, take the stairs, and save my nose the outrageous burden of smelling your man spray.
When people try and talk on their cell phones, yelling "What" or " You're breaking up" well no shit dumb ass, your in a big metal box in a cement shaft, get a frickin clue.
When I see someone coming and I quick hit the door close button, and they somehow make it in time to press the down button....juuuussssttt before the door finishes closing...[cue curb your enthusiasm clip here]; along the same lines, when someone stands there jabbing the button, thinking it is going to make the elevator run faster, no its not.
I was on crutches for a while at UMD, and I always hated people who took the elevator for no reason, but when I {handicapped at the time} was in the elevator, tired from walking with my damn arms all around campus, carrying a bookbag, would try to exit first, these bastards would get in my way, rushing out the elevator, getting to class, take the stairs dumbass.
Akward conversation. If I wanted to talk to you about your stupid neighbors lap dog, I would ask, leave me alone.
When someone gets in and goes only one floor up or down, seriously, one floor, walk, Once I feel that elevator stop when I am trying to go five floors up I cringe.
I think that about covers it, maybe I will think of more later, post one if you have one.
-elevator bader
posted by Scott Bader @ 9:07 AM
1 Comments:
here's a tip: Never fart in an elevator, even when you're alone. you never know if someone is going to be waiting at the door to get in once it stops.
I've witnessed this first hand. Not my farting of course, but some non-eye-contacter coming out of the elevator in the UMD library
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